Cishets can’t help but project their power dynamics unto gay and queer connections. I’ve had to explain several times in my life why asking “who’s the man and who’s the woman,” at least for me, is problematic and also fucking dumb.
That statement literally relies upon and props up power dynamics and gender roles which is such bullshit. And when asking folks back to unpack that, or a simple “what do you mean by that,” take note of watching people process out loud their own fucked up gender norms and outdated patriarchal compulsions.
